Realization

Dont you sometime feel that whatever we are doing here is not very much what we wish or what our parents expect from us..?? I know most of us do not, but even then i am sure everyone of us must have thought atleast once about it...when i came across this thought once again (which generally come with xamz!)these lines i have written at such a moment..

Disclaimer: These lines are not a result of my midsem performance :D,i wrote them before mids, but was busy with preparations..

I feel guilty,
when my Mother asks,
'How are you studying?'
& i say 'fine Mom' !!

She asks before the exams,
'how is your preparation?'
& again i lie..
'Its good Mom' !!

She is worried about me,
so she again calls after the exam,
& again i could only say..
'it went fine Mom'..

How can i say to her,
I studied only a day before,
how can i expain to her,
over lecture i preferred sleep more..

I didnt make any notes,
but chatted with my friends!
i never opened course book,
but wasted time in browsing net..

I copied the assignments,
without giving a second thought.
I ended up sleeping,
when finally time to study i got..

How can i lie to her,
who has enormous faith in me.
who never cared for herself,
but did everything for me..

I was never like this,
I was conscious of my responsibilities,
I always tried to do my best,
always concerned about studies..

Earlier she used to say,
'Please go to sleep its very late..'
& i used to reply,
'i am going Mom plz wait..'!!

Then why is this transformation?
why lack of motivation?
Future is still not certain,
the why is this hesitation?

Mom You have always been my strength,
you suffered happily for my gain..
Give me power & wake me up,
I want to be your old son again !!

Give me power & wake me up, I want to be your old son again !!